(I’m afraid of) Life, the universe and everything..

phobia –noun

“a persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it”.

 

I have a friend who turns deathly pale if a bird flies too close to the car, or circles overhead if we’re chilling on the roof.. and I don’t mean in a glamorous Tippi Hedren sort of way. She just freezes up and stops breathing.. it’s really kind of fascinating. And once she’s safely seen that the birds are out of sight it takes her about a second to snap back to “Yeah, what was I saying?”

 

So I was just trying to be a good friend and I started reading up on “fear of birds” (officially known as “Ornithophobia“) when I came across pages and pages of the darnedest stuff. There’s a phobia for everything under the sun – literally, it’s known as Panophobia. Also, a phobia of the sun – known as Heliophobia. A lot of it sounds like some bored, jobless IT loony designed a website and made up a fear of “everything and YO MAMA”. But apparently this stuff really exists, so here they are, some of my favorites:

 

Levophobia: “Fear of objects to the left side of the body”

Dextrophobia: “Fear of objects to the right side of the body”

 

What if you used to be one of the above but are now an Amnesiac? You could potentially spend all day chasing the other half of your body around, trying to recall which was the evil half! Weeeeee!

 

And I thought my life had no direction. Hah.

 

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: “The fear of long words”. Oh dear.. a moment of silence for the death of all bad jokes and the person responsible for this name.

 

Plutophobia: “Fear of wealth”. Man. I never meet the right people.. I need to befriend some plutophobes!

 

Catagelophobia: “Fear of being ridiculed”. Uh, you mean having some self respect? Damn, I think I got one!

 

Monopathophobia:– “Fear of definite disease”. Hate to state the obvious but, “As opposed to a vague one?” Apparently, yes.

 

Anyway, there’s practically dozens of umm, sillier ones, but I’m going to ‘fess up and throw in mine. I’m terrified of dead animals. No, not like the kid in The Sixth Sense who sees dead people, I’m actually scared of dead animal carcasses and I see the damn things everywhere! Honestly, on average I notice about 1 -2 dead animals per week just lying about in the middle of the road obviously uh.. disfigured from the uh.. anyway, let’s not get carried away. Once, as sure as eggs is eggs, I saw a dead cow in the middle of the road. Thankfully I had not learnt how to drive in those days and my driver just swerved to the left and muttered something to the effect of  “What will become of this country?”

 

It was REAL, I swear! (Picture courtesy: Rida Shariq)

 

Oh, and finally! Found something remotely useful! Syngenesophobia – A fear of relatives! Ta-DAH! Of course, this only applies to the ones I don’t particularly wish to see just then 😉 The awesome ones, I still love you guys! ♥

 

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15 thoughts on “(I’m afraid of) Life, the universe and everything..

  1. I am not afraid of all birds okay! It’s just those low gliding ones eagles, vultures and specially crows..I hate crows! But what freaks me out is that they’re gonna start attacking me! So it’s not really a bird fear..wasn’t there anything about an eagle, vulture, crow fear? :p hahah and the picture! Now I find out what it was it seems ridiculos! Haha

  2. Umm, haha. I wasn’t aware of your fear of birds :/ and I wasn’t making fun of it either.. Notice how I said I was seriously trying to read about it when I came across all these other ridiculous ones! You’re not the person I was referring to above.. I posted it to you to thank you for the picture actually but hey, if the cap fits you can consider yourself referred to, and be duly honored of course :p

  3. I really enjoy coming here, You are imaginative and are a humorous writer…Yes…I’ve got a smile playing on lips…how wonderful it is to have smiles during a long day…

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