My life at work (and other tragedies)

As a single Pakistani girl in my mid twenties, working in a typical (read male dominated) Pakistani organization, I feel I have acquired a level of patience I never believed possible. Usually, I’m not one for “male bashing” but drastic times call for.. well, an angsty post.

Here’s what you need to know about my workplace: I wasn’t kidding about male dominated. Ratio of men: women is approx 25:1. Anyway without further ado, introducing:

Specimen A: Mr. Bossmanyessirofcoursesir (henceforth referred to as Mr. B)

Aim in life: Have all the women in the department (grand total: 3) know what a total bitch his wife is, and score sympathy points.

Strategy:

Assign cryptic task

a) She rushes to your office to say wtf? Excellent, time to waste her time.

b) Not so much? Notch up the level of bullshit, and repeat until she does.

I feel for you Mrs. B. And hey, if you need an axe.. just saying.

Specimen B: Pimply Mc. Burpy

Usually, I wouldn’t make fun of anyone’s acne issues..except when that person is a 40 year old man who spits when he talks, scratches his face and beard, and worse, burps while talking to you. As a result though, I have mastered the art of fading into my happy place on demand. *Hmm, shoes*

Specimen C: Mr. Porno

If you think it’s unbelievable that a 28 year old guy reads Harlequin romances at work, prepare to be astounded. After I rejected his offer to forward me a copy of “How Mary became a woman” or some such mush, he proceeded to print all 300 pages, got them bound and magnanimously offered the book to me. I was too creeped out to think about complaining to an authority (which in my case is Mr.B. Joy.) All I wanted was for him to stop. A small miracle (or so I thought) later, he got moved way over to the other end of the hall. Then, however, much to my utter mortification, he walked all the way over to my desk and handed me a two page print out to the effect of:

Guy: I just can’t wait anymore. I must have you now.

Girl: My darling, we don’t have to wait any longer. We can finally be together. (Rip clothes, jump into bed.)

I’m not kidding. Maybe the exact words were different but the essence was exactly this. I did tell him this amounted to sexual harrassment, and I could get him into a lot of trouble for it but he just laughed and gave me the “you and your empty threats” look. Thankfully, though, he’s let me be for now.

I could go on and on, but they’re not all so bad. There’s also the guy who only (and always) sings 70’s Bollywood songs, the guy who eats oranges at his desk and touches your screen with sticky hands, the guy who changes into flip flops once he gets to work and leaves his socks and shoes lying around.. like I said, I could go on.

On the bright side though, at least it can’t get any worse! I hope..

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19 thoughts on “My life at work (and other tragedies)

  1. Male dominated is understandable, I suppose most workplaces in Pakistan would be…but this is just ridiculous! Are you serious about the guy who offered you porn? Why didn’t you complain to someone besides “Mr. B”? You should go to HR, or raise some sort of issue with someone! I cant understand why you are taking this so passively??

      • I agree with you Sahar. I worked in male dominated work places for many years. In traditional male jobs. (Automotive and marine engine repair and parts). It causes way too much resentment and much more harassment (the kind that is subversive and mentally/physically harmful.) I’d rather have to deal with the guys just being pigs than with them trying to “get rid of the trouble maker” by being mean, rude, and deceitful.

      • Yep, I know what you mean. It’s not about standing up for yourself.. it’s more like saving yourself the trouble of having to deal with petty nastiness every single day..

    • She is not taking it passively, its just that at the end of the day HR is also one of the male dominated areas 😦
      So no point of complaining!

  2. This post was TOO funny. It literally had me cracking up. It’s rather fun to dissect the slobs of our society, picking at every aspect and flaw in them.

    And by that, I mean you’re awesome. 😀

  3. Hahaha! Thats hilarious. I wish I had such entertaining co-workers instead of women who get their high from sharing recipes and susral bitching. WADDAAA

  4. Hahaha I do feel bad for you but that’s hilarious! You work at a bank you said somewhere? I hope these men don’t deal with the customers at least!

  5. Well done Sahar! I loved it. I know there’s still a lot that can be written about the HELL!
    It was interesting when I had to recognize people with the given characteristics 😀

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