You know it’s a mad world when:
– Beggars dance for you.. And expect a happy meal for their efforts.
Bunch of Afghan kids pester/entertain me every morning, each trying to be cuter (read more annoying) than the other. Here’s how one instance went:
Kid: Baji tum ne promise kiya tha tum hum ko McDonalds khilaye ga.. (“you promised you’d buy me McDonalds”)
Me: (since I’d promised him no such thing) Kyun bhai, ye kab howa? (“When did I say I would?”)
Kid: Acha hum tum ko dance ker ke dikhaye ga, phir tum hum ko khilaye ga? (“Okay, what if I dance for you, will you buy me McDonald’s then?”)
After which he proceeded to do a retarded, all out, crazy chicken dance, yelling a pushto song at the top of his lungs. Needless to say, I didn’t. If anything, he needs to work on his moves.
– Your kids talk in gibberish.
Mom: Beth Anne!
Beth Anne: W/u? (What’s up?)
Mom: Your cell phone bill is what’s up. All this texting!
Beth Anne: OMG! INBD! (Oh my God! It’s no big deal!)
Mom: It IS a big deal. who are you texting 50 times a day?
Beth Anne: Idk, my BFF Jill? (I don’t know, my best friend forever Jill?)
Mom: Tell your BFF Jill that I’m taking away your phone.
Beth Anne: TISNF! (This is so not fair!)
Mom: Me paying this bill, that’s what’s SNF!
Idk, wtf? Peep this shit.. Like, totally.
– The couple on your left is 50, and the couple on your right is 14 (well, alomst). Oh, this is on Valentine’s day. At a karaoke bar.
So on your left it’s all about hip replacement surgeries. And your, right, well Bieber, obviously. Disconcerting, to say the least..
– Your mom thinks “lol” stand for 101. Your dad has a facebook account, has proceeded to add your entire family, and begins every wall post with “Dear so and so, thanks for the comment, I really enjoyed hearing from you! Love, Uncle”
This is getting out of hand.