Mad World

You know it’s a mad world when:

– Beggars dance for you.. And expect a happy meal for their efforts.

Bunch of Afghan kids pester/entertain me every morning, each trying to be cuter (read more annoying) than the other. Here’s how one instance went:

Kid: Baji tum ne promise kiya tha tum hum ko McDonalds khilaye ga.. (“you promised you’d buy me McDonalds”)

Me: (since I’d promised him no such thing) Kyun bhai, ye kab howa? (“When did I say I would?”)

Kid: Acha hum tum ko dance ker ke dikhaye ga, phir tum hum ko khilaye ga? (“Okay, what if I dance for you, will you buy me McDonald’s then?”)

After which he proceeded to do a retarded, all out, crazy chicken dance, yelling a pushto song at the top of his lungs. Needless to say, I didn’t. If anything,  he needs to work on his moves.

Your kids talk in gibberish.

Mom: Beth Anne!

Beth Anne: W/u? (What’s up?)

Mom: Your cell phone bill is what’s up. All this texting!

Beth Anne: OMG! INBD! (Oh my God! It’s no big deal!)

Mom: It IS a big deal. who are you texting 50 times a day?

Beth Anne: Idk, my BFF Jill? (I don’t know, my best friend forever Jill?)

Mom: Tell your BFF Jill that I’m taking away your phone.

Beth Anne: TISNF! (This is so not fair!)

Mom: Me paying this bill, that’s what’s SNF!

Idk, wtf? Peep this shit.. Like, totally.

– The couple on your left is 50, and the couple on your right is 14 (well, alomst). Oh, this is on Valentine’s day. At a karaoke bar.

So on your left it’s all about hip replacement surgeries. And your, right, well Bieber, obviously. Disconcerting, to say the least..

Your mom thinks “lol” stand for 101. Your dad has a facebook account, has proceeded to add your entire family, and begins every wall post with “Dear so and so, thanks for the comment, I really enjoyed hearing from you! Love, Uncle”

This is getting out of hand.


15 thoughts on “Mad World

  1. Hahahahaha,hilarious! that was quick though considering you just said you were feeling lazy hehe

    Thanks for the post, you should write funnier pieces more often!

    • Haha thanks Daniyal. Yeah I was in the mood so I thought what the hell. And I’ve always thought funny was the way to go but my funny charming self occassionally likes to take a break :p Mind vomit on the other hand just pours forth!

  2. Hahahaha I loved it! I remember watching this ad a long time ago, I thought it was hilarious.

    And I sooo agree with the facebook comment, it IS getting out of hand! its bad enough that your whole family is on facebook but then they proceed to turn it into a big fat family reunion with “Beta you look wonderful in this photograph, may Allah shower his blessings on you and keep you happy” etc. Thank God for limited profile !

    • Hahaha I know! Phuppis and khalas are having a field day with facebook! They discuss every single picture (the ones you allow them to see anyway :p) and proceed to discuss the occassion, your outfit, their outfit, who came and who couldn’t make it and everything under the sun on facebook as well as the next time they see you in person! I wish there was a “facebook for over 40” so they’d leave us well alone :p

  3. Hahaha well written Pali! Bechara bacha, you couldnt have sprung for a happy meal? 😛

    and hey 50 years old or 14 years old…let them spread the loooove and quit being envious (hehe should I duck for cover now)

    Lol @ facebook for over 40. Maybe you could suggest it to the creators since you’re, you know, “getting there” 😛 Haha good stuff though!

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